Bizarro fiction & the King, Carlton Mellick III.

Let's take a peek under the hood of a literary genre that is gradually finding its home here, and which experienced its biggest boom in America some ten to fifteen years ago. Its very name – bizarro fiction – evokes excitement in some and apprehension in others. It is a literary form where nothing is forbidden and there are no limits to boundless imagination.

What the hell is it?

Broadly speaking, you could call it a crazy mix of sci-fi, horror, fantasy, and other subgenres of speculative fiction, but that would ultimately be too simplistic. You have to add elements of satire, grotesque, poking fun at clichés, as well as a healthy dose of absurdity, or perhaps a pinch of weird fiction, or its younger brother – a movement called New Weird. By the way, that one gained popularity here back in the day thanks to the Laser-books publishing house, and from its ranks emerged names like China Miéville or Jeff VanderMeer.

If we look for authors who influenced this progressive genre, we must mention names like Franz Kafka, Philip K. Dick, William Burroughs, Kurt Vonnegut, or the storyteller for young and old, Lewis Carroll. Simply put, everything that is somehow weird, off-the-wall, and deviates from the common standard is reflected in bizarro fiction. In the electronic horror magazine Howard, they once introduced this genre with a quote from Polish writer Grzegorz Gajek: "Bizarro is when someone writes the first piece of nonsense and someone else reads it and says: What the fuck!" And that is exactly how it is, because nothing is sacred to bizarro, and its scope is as obscure as it is boundless. If we go to the extreme, we can label all of bizarro fiction as trash, but we must immediately add that it is trash so fresh that it becomes the uncrowned king of pulp.

In the beginning was Satan

At the beginning of its bloom, we cannot look for anyone other than… Satan. The first book that brought bizarro to the awareness of a wider audience (though, hand on heart, it is still literary underground) was called Satan Burger (2001). It tells the story of Satan, who opened a burger joint and made hamburgers so devilishly good that people were willing to sell their souls for them. The author of this divine perversion is Carlton Mellick III., whom we will talk about more, and who is considered the flagship of the entire genre, even though he resists it himself.

It is said that he started writing at the age of ten because he couldn't find the kind of books he enjoyed reading in the library. So he set to work himself. As is often the case, many couldn't get a taste for the new genre at first; bizarro authors met with misunderstanding and rejection from publishers. But Mellick lit the torch, and other authors lit theirs from his flaming creative torch, creating something that could be called a literary movement.

Over time, even the Bizarro Fiction Manifesto was created. In 2005, underground publishers appeared that took it upon themselves to look after this strange genre and its even stranger authors. The most famous publishers in this regard are Eraserhead Press, Afterbirth Books, or Raw Dog Screaming. And that was just a step away from an event called BizarroCon. It not only brought the genre more into the spotlight but also connected publishers, authors, and fans into one organism. And as we know well, there is strength in numbers.

A book that's weird just by its title

One of the hallmarks of bizarro is the book titles, where you can guess what might be happening in them. Judge for yourself: The Greatest Fucking Moment in Sport (Kevin L. Donihe), Shatnerquake (Jeff Burk), The Pickled Apocalypse of Pancake Island (Cameron Pierce), Menstruating Mall (Carlton Mellick III.), Ass Goblins of Auschwitz (Cameron Pierce), or Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere (Mykle Hansen). Plenty more of these strange titles could be dug up. Even in the titles of bizarro fiction, there is no room for unnecessary niceties.

To be clear, bizarro is not just a domain of men; women have also lent a hand here. Let's mention, for example, Kristen Alene and her opus Love in the Times of Dinosaurs, where she dusted off the theme of one of the greatest love stories of all time, Romeo and Juliet, in a blistering love story between a monk and a dinosaur. And in a similar spirit, where authors flip a well-known outline and rebuild it within the framework of unbridled fantasy, we could go on for a long time.

Even though bizarro fiction is no longer experiencing its brightest period in the USA, its scent is gradually spreading across the world. It gained great popularity, for example, in neighboring Poland, and now it is planting addictive roots here as well. It is also necessary to mention that this genre, which definitely doesn't bother with long-established boundaries, has influenced some renowned writers like Chuck Palahniuk, William Gibson, Edward Lee, and others.

Bizarro in the Czech Republic

The popularization of bizarro in our neck of the woods is primarily thanks to translator Milan Žáček, who launched the Club Bizarre edition in his family publishing house Carcosa, where he has published six books by Carlton Mellick III. so far. Given that this is not a staggering number, let's briefly introduce the individual Mellick opuses.

The Haunted Vagina

The first to appear was the book with the provocative title The Haunted Vagina. Just the feeling when you ask the saleswoman in a bookstore if she has it is true bizarro. The content itself is no less sketchy. Steve and Stacy are in love, and there is no need to doubt that it is a fateful love. However, there is one catch. Strange sounds come from Stacy's vagina, which they both eventually get used to, but when a skeleton crawls out of it one evening, both lovers realize that the problem is probably bigger than they expected. Stacy convinces Steve to crawl inside her and see what is actually going on in her intimate parts. The world Steve finds there is unexpectedly crazy, and on top of that, he has to solve the question of how to get back. As a bonus, the book contains two more Mellick short stories. The one titled Fantastic Orgies is, for me, the absolute top of weirdness.

I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter

A year after "The Vagina" (by the way, all Mellick's books are published here at roughly regular annual intervals, so I won't mention that anymore), another novel with a nice and self-explanatory title appeared – I Knocked Up Satan's Daughter. The story is about a strange young man named Jonathan, whose only hobby is building with Lego. He is so obsessed with it that he even built the house he lives in out of Lego. One day, however, a succubus named Veshka mounts him in bed and leaves her indelible "signature" on him. The problem arises when Veshka returns one day to tell Jonathan that she is expecting his offspring. This kicks off an incredibly wild ride between hell and earth, in which one fights not only against the forces of evil but also, for example, against fundamentalist Catholics.

The Plushie Apocalypse

The third to break through to our market was The Plushie Apocalypse, which, despite its nice title, is quite militant and very action-packed. In it, toys revolt, take over the world, and the main heroine tries to reverse the state of affairs at the cost of self-sacrifice. Here it should be noted that none of Carlton Mellick III.'s books ever turn out the way you expect, and their author can surprise you on every page. He definitely has no problem suddenly twisting the plot into a completely unexpected direction.

Cannibals of Candy Land

Cannibals of Candy Land is another obscure love story you wouldn't want to experience. Yet it all starts as a classic desire for revenge. The main hero, Franklin, wants to settle the score with strange creatures, sugar cannibals, who killed his siblings. He leaves his two wives and sets off on the trail of one of them, ending up in a strange landscape that is both a paradise and a hell for a human at the same time. Moreover, he will have to fervently lick his way out of this mess. And everything turns out completely differently than his original intention.

House of Houses

For me, the best Mellick book (along with Satan's Daughter) is called House of Houses. It tells the story of two strange siblings, Polly and Tick, who have never met their parents. The big house they live in is full of monsters and scares them to death. However, when their nanny breaks down one day, they decide to act, not be afraid, and find their parents. That it won't be a walk in the park in the big house is clear from the start. Just as it is clear that the house hides many secrets and the sibling duo will sweat quite a bit before they reach a goal they weren't looking for. It is interesting that this book is quite dark compared to the rest of Mellick's production, and it seems as if it doesn't attack your diaphragm, but rather your heart chamber.

The Menstruating Mall

The last book by Carlton Mellick III. that has appeared here so far is The Menstruating Mall. And the title again suggests a lot. It is a bizarre variation on the classic teenage slasher, in which a group of young people heads to an abandoned cabin. That something is wrong in the whole region should have occurred to them on the way, but as is the case in such situations, they pay absolutely no attention to the warning signs. It is therefore no wonder that the situation that subsequently occurs at the cabin is full of blood, sex, surprises, and unexpected twists. This book is probably the most perverted and disgusting of Mellick's production that has been published here so far.

Bizarro, Czech style

I have been nudging Milan Žáček for a long time to publish someone other than the spiritual father of bizarro fiction within this edition, but the result has not yet arrived. However, it's not over yet! Although… and watch out now! The seventh book in the Club Bizarre edition will be an anthology of domestic authors called Bizarropolis! The book is being published in cooperation with the popular HorrorCon edition, and since I participated in it, I can reveal to you that it will be quite a ride on a hot bullet.

Domestic creators have, of course, taken this genre in their own way – after all, who would want some soulless copycats – and imbued it with a distinctive charm. The short stories are very diverse, and every reader will find the one that definitely suits them. Among the participating authors, you will find Petr Stančík, Ivan Adamovič, Petr Boček, Vilém Koubek, and nine others. The cover artist is none other than Ed Mironiuk, the court "cover designer" for Carlton Mellick III. And since we are back to this author again, know that his short story, not yet published here, will also appear in the anthology. A special guest simply cannot be missing, and logically – who else to choose? The book is being published by Carcosa in October, and the launch should take place on October 22, 2022, at the traditional HorrorCon festival in the Prague club Kotelna.

I think that for a certain type of readership, bizarro fiction will have a bed of roses here. Books that significantly flirt with this genre have already appeared, such as Petr Boček's Cemetery of Dwarfs or the new-weird-scented In Bloom by Kristina Haidingerová. Besides that, this genre has certain points of contact with some works that are labeled as Czech action fantasy here. Of course, I'm not saying it's the same thing, but for example, in Asphalt by Štěpán Kopřiva, there are really plenty of bizarre passages. By this, I mainly want to say that the conditions for bizarro fiction are favorable here, and the genre could find a home here. So let's be surprised…

author Roman Bílek